Vladimir Putin

But before we get onto the competition, let's remind ourselves just what a macho leader the ex-KGB operative is.

In highly staged photo opportunities, Putin has been snapped riding horses bare-chested, swimming, building a fire, boating, shooting a whale, fishing topless and winning at judo. He does quite a lot of things without a shirt on.

And then there's the time he discovered sunken treasure. OK, it was almost certainly staged, but cameras followed Putin as he dived into the depths of the Black Sea and came up clutching two sixth-century Greek urns. You can't imagine David Cameron doing it.