Sorry, ladies, your favourite N. Korean dictator is off the market

North Korean state TV has released a brief report that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un married "mystery woman" Ri Sol Ju at an undisclosed place at an undisclosed time. What a dark horse that Kim Jong-un is.

Meanwhile, uproar broke out on the first day of Olympic sporting action in the UK when organisers accidentally displayed images of the North Korean women's football team on a large screen next to a South Korean flag, prompting the entire team to refuse to take the field. Organisers issued an apology and the match against Colombia finally began an hour late.